more classic video-gaming news

So Ricky Gervais is working on his Q*bert TV show, and I just learned last night that Al Pacino will be playing Mezmaron in the new live-action adaptation of the old Pac-Man cartoon show from the '80s. Al tells me Tom Stoppard is going over the script, and it's supposed to be directed by either Ang Lee or Brian Singer, depending on how the story (and the new Superman's box office, probably!) turns out—pretty different choices, although both of course have superhero experience, which I suppose is relevant, particularly since Al kept talking about the thing as if it were a superhero movie. They haven't picked anybody to play the Man himself. I suggested Norbert Leo Butz from the Dirty Rotten Scoundrels musical, which I saw a year ago, and I also thought "Lauren Weisberger" would be excellent in the role, but Al was very set on the idea that "He's gotta be Robert [Duvall], it can only be Robert," which frankly I can't quite see. I mean, the man is in his 70s. But apparently they've been talking to him about it and he's interested, so I don't know, maybe they'll prove me wrong. Drew's already tentatively attached as Ms. Pac-Man, and I understand Jack Black is dying to play Inky...

better than CATS

Axl sent me this link to a video he put up on YouTube. He just looooves kittens.

You get nothin' for nothin' if that's what you do
Turn around, bitch, I got a use for you
Besides, you ain't got nothin' better to do
And I'm bored.
-same guy

robot

Some people have asked me about that comment I made a while back suggesting (unsubtly) that a particular "person" might in fact be mechanized. Well, the truth of the matter is that I'm not sure. I felt sure when I posted it, but more and more I've doubted what I thought I saw. I don't want to incriminate myself, even though I am posting anonymously, so let's just say that my perception may have been a little on the altered side. And although, yes, I do have a blog that you might say is all about gossip, I don't really want to spread rumors unless I feel confident about their accuracy—even about people who have kidnapped me twice and probably will do it again for who knows what reason. What I can tell you for sure because I saw it again later and other people I know have confirmed it is that Macaulay has a wire sticking out of his neck. Also, he whirs when he walks.

SIGHTINGS

Lindsay Lohan tromping down Mott Street in a full-on Ghostbusters costume complete with proton pack ... famed literary critic and self-proclaimed dinosaur Harold Bloom having upscale pancakes at Norma's with Meg Ryan, Keira Knightley, and Suicide Girl Chloe St. Reagan, then leaving a paltry 5% tip ... New York Times grammar man William Safire snorting coke off an obese homeless woman's exposed left breast in an alleyway, after which he did a little "pee-pee dance" in his Care Bears underoos ... married beauty Liv Tyler canoodling with Zeus in the form of a ram ...

Just kidding about that last one—although I did see Yahweh making out with Lindsay in her Ghostbusters costume, was the surprise end to that particular story. Apparently he's off the meds again. Well, go get 'em, tiger! That's what I say...