rooftop afternoon garden party

They had a real tree up there on the roof and Steve Buscemi was perched up in the branches eating pistachios and pegging people with the shells... Owen Wilson told me Pam Anderson's been saying she took my virginity. Not true. I lost my virginity to Winona Ryder and Drew Barrymore. (I'm not the kiss-and-tell kind of guy, but the video for that one's on the internet, probably on YouTube by now, so what are you gonna do?) Pam is off her rocker. Owen said, "Yeah, she also said she took my virginity. I told her I thought I'd remember that, and she just smiled blankly." He and Wes are working on a new movie musical called Unabomber!; they're hoping Bill will star, but there's some question about whether he can sing... John Cusack, Uma Thurman, Seth Green, and James Earl Jones were playing doubles ping-pong while Beck and the guy from LCD Soundsystem argued loudly about Alexander Hamilton... Yahweh was there, looking good—a lot calmer now that he's (reportedly) on his meds... When I was about to leave, Beck stopped me and said I should wait 10 minutes because Macaulay wanted to see me. I said fuck that and got the hell out double-time. More and more Macaulay's giving me the creepy fantods.

just asking...

What successful blonde "chick-lit" author is in fact another JT Leroy? "Her" wildly successful 2003 faux roman à clef and its not-as-successful 2005 follow-up were in fact penned by...he's gonna kill me...Academy Award–winner Philip Seymour Hoffman. Yesterday Natalie Hershlag and I went shopping for an original Q*bert machine to give good old "Lauren" as a congratulatory gift when the movie adaptation comes out: he's a huge Q*bert fan, and Natalie thought we could probably pick up one at the place where she just bought Dig-Dug and Popeye a little while back. Sure enough, they had one, but we ended up losing it to Ricky Gervais, who got there five minutes before we did. He was real nice about it, though, and he suggested that both of us audition for his new live-action Q*bert television show. I know! It sounds like a terrible idea, but this is Ricky Gervais, and The Office is a contemporary classic—and apparently he's in negotiation with Daily Show stars Rob Corddry and Jon Stewart to play Q*bert and Coily, respectively, so it could be pretty amazing. Auditions are Thursday...I may or may not go, but Natalie is psyched and kept saying, "I am Wrong-Way"—I don't remember which one Wrong-Way is, but I'm pretty sure she's off on this one... So I called Philip up to tell him about it (leaving out the circumstances, of course, because the gift's supposed to be a surprise), and he tells me Gervais is a Mormon. Is that possible? Do they have Mormons in England? I guess they must have some...

FACT:

W. Axl Rose hosts a popular talk show on NPR, using a different name and evincing very little appetite for destruction. I won't say which show it is, but listen well and ye shall hear...

PR

Saw that Daniel Johnston movie at the Sunshine: cult singing-songwriting hero best known for his 1983 cover art on Kurt Cobain's T-shirt circa 1992: "Hi, how are you?" The deal is that he's supposed to be a genius but also clinically insane, institutionalized and raving about Satan etc.

Thing is, Dad got Kurt to babysit for me back in '91 (I was old for a babysitter but Kurt was totally cool about it, told me his mom and dad used to make him stay with a babysitter till he was like 18 or something ridiculous), and so Kurt told me that the whole crazy–Daniel Johnston story is just that: a story. Kid got himself a great PR guy, same one who did the whole Kurt's-a-junkie thing, and the rest is rock-and-roll history. It's amazing how much bullshit is out there and how much is taken for granted as fact. Don't people remember how much these people pay to have their reputation sculpted and polished?

FACT: Kurt Cobain graduated first in his class at Harvard in 1989.
FACT: He and Courtney met at Oxford summer school in England, where she was studying Chaucer.
FACT: Eminem had a regular role on a popular kids' television show of the 1980s.

The world of US Weekly might as well be Stalinist Russia with all the revisionism. No joke.

my birthday party

Private room at Rob's new place, supposed to have been live music but Adam Yauch got in some sort of accident (he's OK, they tell us...probably ran over a waterbug with his skateboard, the crazy Hindoo), and the others won't do it without him, so no music. We just ended up hooking Chelsea Clinton's Nano up to the sound system, and it seemed to be made up entirely of classic hip-hop, so everything worked out fine.

Johnny Depp got dressed up like a birthday clown and was making balloon animals for everybody, did an amazing jellyfish that pretty much blew everybody's mind...his Fear & Loathing co-star Benicio Del Toro playing original "Mario Bros." with Scarlett Johansson, Scarlett just wrecking Benicio at it, while Bob Balaban kept up a colorful commentary from the arm of their couch (this was before Bob got out of control and had to be removed from the club, screaming something about "Metroid" and poker).

Macaulay showed, which was weird since I hadn’t hung out with him in 10 years. He came with the whole crew from the old days: Lukas, Leo, Harm, Wiley, Flea... Actually I was a little threatened. I said I see you got the gang back together, and Macaulay took me aside and opened a little box like for special cufflinks except inside there was a human ear.